Inspiration – Tracey Emin

‘Because you left’ (2018)

I recently visited Tracey Emin’s exhibition at the Bermondsey White Cube and decided to have a closer look upon one of her pieces. Her introspective perspective which is reflected throughout her lifetimes work is a constant inspiration to my practice. Although she follows a more fine art approach, her work is so personal that it links well to my interest in documentary imagery.

The painting depicts a woman reclining on a bed, with her legs apart, as something emerges from between them. There is a taunt and twisted movement in the body, whilst the face depicts what can only be described as exhaustion, the eyes closed and turning from the scene beyond the torso. The use of visceral pinks and deep reds alludes to the colours of humans, of birth and death, expressing fluidity between the two as we begin to uncover the subject matter of the image being Emin’s abortion. In a 1996 video created by Emin, she wanders around London followed by a camera, grappling with her decision of an abortion and the horrific aftermath, as the foetus fell from her shorts in a taxi, into her hands. This video paints a gory and unthinkable scene, which helps us to understand the colours and tones of the painting before us. The acrylic brush strokes are heaving and calculated, going round and round in the space where we imagine the child would be, whilst the dark grey of the bed seems to be lacking in paint, perhaps indicating the importance of the child and hardship of creating the work, as it again feeds into this exhaustion and a sense of faltering and despair. Elements of the image, such as the depiction of the nude woman, and the brush strokes allude to the works of Egon Schiele and Kathe Kollowitz, Emin connecting the realism and sexuality of the two into her work, which can be seem in many more of her pieces. The angle of the image makes viewers feel as though we are stood above, at the doorway, watching the event unfold, unable to do anything, as Emin was after she went into theatre.

While normally, the sight of the female nude is sexualized and voyeuristic, viewers instead feel a sense of the forlorn and sadness, unlike Emin’s other pieces that explore a more erotic nature. This particular image falls into a series that explore her prevalent life events, such as her abortion, mother’s death, and a sense of an unrequited and blasé attitude towards love. This is a pattern in Emin’s work, with every piece being deeply personal and sometimes uncomfortable for viewers, something Emin perhaps deems necessary for us to understand her hardships and life. The image expresses a heart wrenching reality of a taboo subject that implores such loss upon those who undergo it, but is something that isn’t discussed and accepted openly, with her doctor not allowing the papers to be signed initially. There is a sense of the bittersweet for Emin, as, if she hadn’t undergone the abortion, her career may not have taken off, and it’s a huge influence for her work. Finally, looking at the title ‘Because you left’ we are conflicted, as I believe Emin is. The image comes full circle and reminds us of a comment she contrived, that the abortion was the “best mistake she’s ever made”, the words themselves being contradictory. She is able to fulfill her career because the child left but there is also a deep sadness that is continuously illustrated throughout her work, that ‘because you left’, it will continue forever. The title encapsulates all this absence and conflict perfectly, and works as in integral telling piece of Emin’s collection.